Multi-Failing

I used to think a lot about the differences - neurologically - of men and women and how those differences manifested in our day to day behaviors. For example, I've given a lot of thought to this idea that women can multitask and men cannot. I won't bore you with the books and PBS shows I have read and watched that furthered my knowledge on this subject but suffice it to say that we now know that the brain does not in fact multitask, i.e., we do not do two (or more) things at the same time, ever. Like right now I am parenting and negotiating with my dad and typing these thoughts but I am not doing any of them at the same time, I stop, talk, stop, advise, stop, cuddle, stop, write, stop, yell, stop, write, stop, blow the hell up...
Anyway, that's all super interesting because it turns out that women have to be willing and better (the better part is perhaps conjecture) to multitask because they have to tend to disparate activities and needs while men can typically focus on a sole task. OK. Fascinating stuff. Here is some real proof of how we cannot truly multitask: So I had this great idea that I wanted to write here and when I sat down to do it my 7 year old who has a fever came up with the liquid ibuprofen and I was simultaneously thinking about what I was going to write, I mean really thinking (at this exact moment my 9 year old wants to know where the gun to his Lone Ranger figure is from 3 Christmases ago - I am not kidding - and he would like directions to bike to the store from which I purchased it so excuse me if I am scattered here) and I started to pour the medicine into the cap (no after 4 kids, I do not use a teaspoon because I know what a god damn teaspoon is, it is a cap-full) and because I am literally thinking hard about something else my body just keeps pouring the stuff, long after the cap was full. What a trip. That must be what it is like to have the onset of dementia. I just didn't have to the ability to DO it. And I realized, it is no wonder that I fuck up so much. That I burn the beets, that I over dry the cast-iron pans, that I forget dates I have made (and rarely write them down on the calendar), that I cannot follow recipes that call for exact measurements, that I don't remember where I set things down in the house and on and on. I am always attempting to multitask, and as the scientists have proven, when we do that, we do everything poorly. Half-assed. Shittily.
That's me.